I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
