if only i could text you this smell
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
