He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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