We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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