quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
