Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
