Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this boner is exhausting
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
