if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
