Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
