I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
