Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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