The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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