Got a toothbrush?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
