of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
