Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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