if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
