There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
