Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
