I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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