How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
