I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
