Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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