I hate your face
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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