marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
