Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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