I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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