what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
