So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
