Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
