Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
