he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
