So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
