i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
