Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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