I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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