Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
