You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You ate ashes out of my bong
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
