guys are only as good as the porn they watch
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
