it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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