Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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