you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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