i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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