Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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