I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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