i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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