Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
