addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
