hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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