There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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