Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
