So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
