I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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