Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
